Ok, it’s been quite a while since I wrote, even though I promised to update daily. This week has been especially crazy, and I’m happy it’s finally over. Not that it was bad, but it was certainly more work than I bargained for. Having two boys in cub scouts now, I volunteered to work 4 out of the 5 days of camp. The camp was from 8-4 every day, except today, which was 10-3:30 at the splash house. I’ve always gotten frustrated when people comment on my “desk job” as if just because I have a desk, that means I sit and do nothing. I work hard every day at my job, and even though it isn’t “physical”, I still run quite a bit and feel as if I’m pretty much in shape due to the many trips I make up and down the steps every day. I’m here to tell you that those stairs are nothing compared to a big open field with 72 boys between the ages of 6 and 12. I am beat. I am sore. I am tired…more so than after giving birth to any of my kids. And thank god this camp only happens once a year!!!! But we all had a blast. And I have tomorrow to recover, recuperate, and get inebriated to enable myself to wake up with an incredible hangover on my birthday!
Other than that, not much else is going on. I have taken a new interest in someone. I can’t say whether it will go anywhere at this point. I always question myself whether I make good decisions when I’m lonely. I have not in the past, therefore I try to keep that in my mind for all future interests. The only problem is that the loneliness doesn’t go away just because I give up on the potential interests. So it’s a catch 22 of sorts. I won’t ever not be lonely if I don’t give it a shot once in a while. But I won’t suffer through the same bull shit either if I don’t try. I figured out I’m still allergic to cats, so the whole idea of growing old and acquiring a bunch of cats to keep me from being lonely is gone…. So it’s a catch 22. Movies suck alone. I love my kids to death, but you just can’t unwind from your day venting to them when all they really want you to do is hurry up and stop talking so they can play the freaking wii in silence. And yes, you thought I wouldn’t say it on here, but you were wrong…a girl’s gotta get a little passion once in a while. It’s just another one of those birthday things I guess. Every year on my birthday I get depressed because although my life is great, it isn’t exactly what I had planned of it. I see husbands and wives kissing each other goodbye on their way to work, I watch all the drama on television (on dvr of course…who has time to watch tv in real time anymore???). I still wonder if the happiness I seek exists or if I’ve run out of time. Another year older. Another year taken away from my chance to look forward to my 50th wedding anniversary. I’ve taken all the typical advice….stop looking. I’m not looking. But opportunities come and I talk myself out of them.
So again…I can’t say whether it will go anywhere at this point. But if nothing comes of it, I’ve gotten through all the rest…why not this one?
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