As expected, I am slacking on the daily blogs. There just wasn't enough time yesterday and the whole day was crazy. Went back to work after being off for a week...the secretary who works upstairs with me is out on vacation, so I have my backlog from last week, along with her work that she's missing this week. I can handle it, or so they think. Definitely a stresser, but not the biggest one. Had my ct scan yesterday. I intentionally took nothing to control the headache since prior to the NKOTB concert the night before...thinking that my typical 3 aleve twice a day would somehow reduce the ability to see if anything is actually wrong in there. The only thing I got was a huge freaking headache by the time I got home from work. The tech told me that I could call my doctors office sometime after noon today, and I was anxiously awaiting making that call when my phone rang early. My initial thought was fear, because I know sometimes if it comes back normal they don't bother to tell you at all. So when the phone was ringing, I immediately thought to myself "Oh no...it's bad news". It was one of those moments where time stops dead in its tracks and you wonder whether you want to answer the phone or not. I answered it, and I was much more emotional about the news she did deliver. "We got your results back, and the scan was fine. There was nothing abnormal". Again, this is good news for normal people, but for some reason, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I immediately became emotional. I don't want a brain tumor. I don't want anything to be wrong with me. I would hate to find out that I have an incurable disease and only have ______ days/months/years left to live. But oddly enough, I'd take any of those 3 over the news that I got. "There's nothing". It makes you feel as if it's literally, all in your head. He made mention at my last appointment when he offered the scan, that I very well may just be one of those people who have headaches all the time. I don't want to deal with that. I have a headache every day. If I don't have a headache, it's because I've taken 3 aleve in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. If you read the instructions, it clearly states that you should not take more than 4 a day. It won't last long. So far aleve works the best, but eventually I grow immune to it and have to start taking something else. And when I say "take", I mean "overdose" on something else, like I feel like I'm doing with aleve. I can take 4 tylenol and feel no relief. I can take 4 advil and feel no relief. When I started on the most recent prescription he gave me (Tramadol (sp*?)) it worked very well for the first two weeks or so. It said to take up to 4 per day, and one pill equaled the strenght of about 2.5 aleve (so they said, but I disagree, because it worked much better than aleve). I took 4 a day, sometimes only 3, and it was working great. But like everything else, it stopped working.
So I don't know what to do next. I've done the eye doctor. I've done the regular doctor/prescriptions/ct scan...I don't know what's next. But he'll tell me July 8th I guess. Sometimes I feel like I have a lot of sinus pressure, so maybe I'll see an ENT. I don't know. I just know that I have to try everything, because "dealing with it" is not an option.
Not much else happened today. I had a whole lot more to do than I did the day before....got a good portion of it done while I was acquiring twice as much, but the rest of the week will be a little easier (*me knocking on wood*) as my boss is gone. Hopefully I can get 10 things done rather than 60 things started. It always makes you feel better when you can accomplish something.
Until tomorrow....
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